ALL-OUT WORTHLESSVILLE TEATIME VIRTUAL THEATRE
Cast of Characters:
SAINT DARLENE LUSTIG, real estate agent.
OUR SPORTY SPICE, world-class loser.
The living room of a $300,000 aluminum house. Enter DARLENE.
DARLENE: I could quote Heller, I could ask, "Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?" Instead I'll quote Sporty Spice: "I'm the featured player of ten thousand snuff films!"
Enter SPORTY as glowing apparition.
DARLENE: Hark! My Favorite Martian appears to reaffirm mine faithlessness!
DARLENE begins to glow while SPORTY dims. At the brightest moment, DARLENE vanishes and SPORTY is alone and all too human at the edge of a forest at night.
SPORTY: God knows what's going on. [looks around] This has eternity beat by miles. [pause] I could be happy. [looks at audience] This play is over. Get lost. Now. [disappears into woods]